Dallas Fisher

A24 is here with a retelling of a story for one of our most misunderstood folk characters. This time around, he’s not the good guy. I know everyone at hand wants you to never forget that, but you’ll never remember this movie. 

The Death of Robin Hood does everything it can to give us a fitting farewell for a character that we are only introduced to in this manner once this film starts. It has obvious comps to Logan, most notably Hugh Jackman in the lead role. Least notably, we don’t get half a dozen movies with the character and instead get a rushed first act that leads into one of the sludgiest ninety minutes of the year. Hugh also brought no personality to this role. Simple as that. He looked great because the costume/makeup departments did a bang up job, but he didn’t have an emotional bone in his body to bring some sort of sympathy to this role.

I know it’s strange that I should be looking for sympathy towards a character that murders children, but I promise you’ll be begging for it. I was also begging for more out of Jodie Comer, especially her wig. Which is one of the worst decisions put to screen in that department in a long time. If you are going to give her a bad hair do, at least give her something worthwhile and memorable from an acting stance instead of just a dead-eyed performance where anyone could have been in that role. And where was Bill Skarsgard?? I know who he was by the credits, but I think this was the first time an unrecognizable performance felt more like a punishment to the audience.

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Although the first act ends up not being the most memorable set up for a film, it was still the highlight of this tale. It immediately paints a picture for this gorgeous world we are in, where there are shades of death spread through every frame. The highest compliment I can give is that Robert Eggers could have had a hand in this one as it gave me that same frigid feeling as his films do. I’ll also add that I hope you aren’t squeamish, because the violence is brutally beautiful. Then it feels like a small artery must have been cut because my engagement slowly drains just like the victims of Robin Hood. 

As is typical with the other films we’ve received from Michael Sarnoski (Pig & A Quiet Place: Day One), the story couldn’t keep my interest for very long. I’m not sure pace is the right term I’m looking for, but I always feel like I’m on borrowed time with my involvement in his movies. I couldn’t believe it was reality when this movie ended. The first thirty were so action packed that I was beyond ready for this adventure, then we got to a point where I couldn’t have been more stranded. This is where the film takes a turn into a story that is honestly terrible the more I think about it. If you would have told me I would be watching a man looking like Geralt go through physical therapy, I never would have stepped foot into this theater.

This is the definition of slow burn, but only this time I wish I would have been put out of my misery pretty early on. If it wasn’t for that stunning scenery, forceful vocal harmonies that gave me chills, and pretty spot on costume design, I would say this is probably not worth your time. I’m actually going to say that anyway. This is a story that was better left untold. I still feel like I’m waiting for something to happen in this story and it’s been almost a week since I’ve seen it.

This was truly a waste of some great talent and a solid idea for a retelling of something that we’ve typically only seen from a more lighthearted viewpoint. This isn’t quite as terrible as the examples I’m about to give, but it does fit the mold of all those children’s boardgames being adapted into D level horror films. It’s a really complicated new life for this character and it’s one that became overshadowed by its attempts at making things large. I would have much rather seen more of his life before he became a crippled. It also would have helped if I could have understood half the words being said, as it seemed the dialect coach went to the Nolan/Bane school of speaking.

5/10