Dallas Fisher

BUDDY

It’s exactly what you need and want it to be. By that, I mean it’s basically a feature length segment from one of the early, good, V/H/S films. I’m glad no real huge names are in this, as I think it would have ruined any sense of immersion into this world. To an extent it does overexplain itself but it’s still a fun time that explores a different side of horror than we are used to as of late. Still rating it middle of the road because it’s not my taste at all.

2.9/5

COLONY

The infected genre does a decent job of not feeling repetitive and Colony is a great example of that. It expands things in ways that feel fresh and has some really cool ideas. This movie also looks incredible and has some of the most committed stunt performances from extras and main cast than I have seen in years. I almost would have liked this as a mini series more as it speedruns through a lot of those ideas I called cool.

3.5/5

INSIDIOUS: OUT OF THE FURTHER

Those popcorn buckets released for this movie are scarier than the movie itself. I’ll give it props for making me even more terrified of the dentist than I am in real life but I will not give it props for using the same horror gags as every previous entry. I get why you bring Lin Shaye back into this franchise but her one liners are like nails on a chalkboard. Without the Insidious name, this is boring tier horror.

1.7/5

I SWEAR

After missing the festival screenings and my screener not working 5 months ago, I finally saw I Swear. For obvious reasons you can compare Robert Aramayo’s incredible performance to Leo in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape or Hoffman in Rain Man. There’s so much realism behind Rovert’s eyes that it is hard to tell that he is acting. Unfortunately, just like the performances in the movies I compared him to, this movie would have been more impactful thirty years ago. The performance overshadows every single other aspect of the movie that it’s hard to believe this will even be whispered about come awards season.

3.3/5

MUTINY

I know Mutiny is the same movie Jason Statham (except Wrath of Man, that movie rules) has released since 2015, but I sort of don’t care. It’s got everything you expect from all of those previous movies like, pretty decent action, an overstuffed plot, and acting that I can hardly call acting. Jason doesn’t change the way he looks for any role but I’ll still support him because I love every second he is on screen. He still kicks ass with every move he makes and every word he says. I just wish there was any sort of thought put into what they are doing with the story and the characters around him.

2.4/5

ONE NIGHT ONLY

Sometimes I want to watch sexy people do sexy stuff, I’m a simple man. One Night Only is an example of sexy people doing the least sexy things possible. Obviously Callum Turner and Monica Barbaro fall into that category of attractiveness, but their chemistry and the things they are given to do, like singing for boner pill commercials, is so unattractive. If the amount of effort put into Monica’s wardrobe was put in the writing around this interesting concept was better, we’d have a better movie.

2.2/5

THE END OF OAK STREET

The Spielberg adventure movie homage did not work for me this time around. Ewan’s acting was as impressive as a cardboard box and for an A-list actor couple, as Hathaway was completely out of his league by every measure. It had also been awhile since I hated child performances in a movie and this time we had three subjects. I get why they revealed the big thing while promoting this movie, because they had nothing else to bite into.

2.7/5

THE LAST HOUSE

Clearly someone watched the dinner scene from Signs and said “What if we strung this out for two hours with some of the most bland acting you have ever seen?” Weird movie.

1.5/5